Journey of an Olympian. Chapter 39

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Chapter Thirty-Nine: Epilogue – A final word

Some people dream of becoming an Olympian from a young age. That wasn’t me. Fate. An opportunity – and I grabbed it. And so it became a dream, the closer I got.

I don’t believe I was the most talented weightlifter. I had self-discipline, determination and a level head. I worked hard on my technique, never quite mastering it, and also had a bit of luck on my side. I may have come into the sport late in life, starting at 27 years old, competing against girls 10 or more years younger but I believe my age helped me. It was the right time for me, I was more mature, more determined and mentally stronger, compared to my younger self.

It was also the right time in terms of the year I chose to start Olympic Weightlifting. I consider myself very fortunate to have been involved in the sport when I was, when Women’s Weightlifting began to be officially recognised. I really felt for all the women before me who had excelled in their time (like Debbie Smith) only to miss out on the chance to compete at the same level as their male peers in Olympics and Commonwealth Games. Also, I came in at the end of an era – when we still had some sponsorship, although it was dwindling; a time when there was still respect and discipline. Coaches told their athletes what to do (not the other way around), we didn’t question our programs (ok well, Meagan occasionally did) and athletes weren’t personal trainers thinking they had the same knowledge as their coaches. We had one job to do – an athlete’s job was to lift weights. Our coaches did the planning and strategizing for us. And we fully trusted them to do their job.

There were no mobile phones allowed out in the gym when we were training. There was no music. It was serious training in facilities which were often basic and raw. “Spit and sawdust” we used to say. No mirrors. It didn’t matter what we looked like, all we needed were bars, weights, squat racks and lifting boots – we were there to train, not to look good.

There was no social media, so we had to do the hard yards almost on our own, with very little sponsorship or funding, in our own little gym communities. It wasn’t a competition on how many ‘likes’ we could get and sponsorship wasn’t determined by our number of ‘followers’. We were lucky if a local paper picked us up and gave us some recognition. Our funding came when we got results on the competition platform.

Every year the standards seem to lift. The weights I was lifting were respectable enough for that time but I wouldn’t medal at a Commonwealth Games with those weights by today’s standards. This is a good thing though, the sport is moving forward. It has to if it is to survive. Fortunately the drugs issue is improving. China is the latest to be picked up (finally). And thankfully, general public are finally starting to realise that Weightlifting isn’t the only sport tainted.

Unfortunately, politics will always be involved in any sport. When you have passionate, unpaid people, there is a tendency for them to get protective of their power and territory. Naturally they spit the dummy when they believe they are doing the best they can for a sport they love and other people want to cut them down or criticise them. What is unfortunate though is when politics get in the way of a sporting organisation’s performance and development. When in-fighting results in good people leaving. People who have a lot to offer. A sport so heavily reliant on volunteers can’t afford to lose good people. In my humble opinion, the volunteers should be shown a little more gratitude all around, in whatever role they play, whether it be setting up before a comp, cleaning up afterwards, refereeing, coaching or sitting on a board or committee.

I learnt a lot of life skills from my time in elite sport, ones that have helped me in my career and in my personal life: Time management, prioritising, self-confidence, to name a few.

The most important lesson weightlifting taught me was about the importance of risk management and how vital planning and preparation is. We used to plan and prepare for every expected and unexpected eventuality so as to cause minimal disruption in competition.

  • We would train at different times of the day to mimic and get ready for our major competition times;
  • We’d change around which platforms we trained on – no favourites allowed – you wouldn’t always have control over what platform you would get at an international competition;
  • In summer we would shut all the windows and turn off the fans to train in intense heat conditions to prepare for competitions in Pacific climates;
  • I manipulated my bodyweight to qualify for selection at 3 different weight classes, to maximise my medal chance at major competitions.

I use risk management skills in every day life – both managing my children, household and at work – I plan and prepare for my kids’ activities, even the ones they forget to tell me about; for my husband’s moods and work commitments; and for my own work deadlines – have been successfully dodging bad moods for years and haven’t missed a deadline yet!

Do I miss competitive weightlifting? Yes, absolutely. If I’m watching the Sydney Swans on TV, seeing the team pacing the warm up room before a game brings back memories of my own competitions, of the adrenalin, nerves and excitement. I miss the smell of Dencorub and if I do get a whiff I find myself reminiscing. I miss the camaraderie, of a team of athletes and coaches all working towards a common goal, like we had in the old days at Burwood PCYC and even earlier when I was powerlifting with our small tight-knit group. I miss having a goal to strive for and I miss being strong and fit (LOL).

It’s easy to remember the good times though, and not the bad. I don’t miss those feelings of negativity and uncertainty in the weeks leading to competition after a bad training session; or the poorly timed nerves making me run to the toilet just before a competition. I don’t miss the torn callouses and blisters. I don’t miss lying in bed at night with my legs aching so I can’t get comfortable. Actually I do kind of miss the last bit.

Appreciation

As I reflect back on my magnificent journey of becoming an Olympian and then a Commonwealth Games medalist, I feel a huge amount of gratitude and appreciation. I had the opportunity of living a fantastic experience and, yes, I worked hard for it but I couldn’t have had this experience without all the support and help I had along the way.

I always respected and thanked our coaches for their advice and guidance at the time. With the benefit of hindsight, there is no doubt about it, our coaches pushed us hard – a strong level of commitment was expected from us and we were pushed beyond the boundaries of what we thought we could do. I might have complained once or twice about having to get up early (not a morning person) or copping 20 sets of Powercleans or having to drop bodyweight, but am truly thankful that they pushed us this hard. Without that push, without that fear of repercussion if you didn’t turn up to training, or didn’t follow your program etc, who knows if the outcome would have been different. Would I have been so disciplined and dedicated to training if no one cared if I turned up or not? The system I trained in made me mentally stronger and able to perform under pressure.

As for my personal coach, Luke Borreggine – we may not have always seen eye to eye but I always trusted his judgement, knowing he had my best interests at heart. He put in countless unpaid hours in the gym, along with Steve Tikkanen. I thank every one of my coaches for all their time, advice and encouragement, and for the important role you all played in my success as an athlete.

I am also grateful for the support I had around me, from my husband, my family and my friends. They all put up with my obsession and my crazy diets – my life revolved around weightlifting and weightlifting pretty much always came first. It needed to at the time if I wanted to succeed and they understood and accepted that. They often took a backseat and most of the time, they went without cake along side me.

As for the sponsors. Without sponsors, from the local sponsors helping NSW Weightlifting, to NSWIS, ACGA, ASC and AOC, to Musashi and Top Nutrition, even to my employer and that anonymous donor before the 2002 Commonwealth Games, I surely would not have been able to succeed at the level I did, let alone be able to go to important qualifying events, such as National, Oceania and World Championships. Sometimes I see or hear of up & coming athletes who think they are entitled to something and expect someone else to pay for their experience, even before they have achieved anything. I never took it for granted and am truly thankful of the sponsorship that was made available to me, no matter how small, to help make life a bit easier with bills, travel and other expenses associated with those important competitions and to take away some financial stress so I could focus on the job at hand.

Finally…

The following was a short article I wrote just after I retired. It summed it up perfectly then and still applies today.

A reflection on retirement

Ahhh, life as a female Olympic weightlifter in Australia…

  • Shaving every second day – the calluses on my hands with a razor blade, to keep them at bay; plus the armpits, so as not to disgust too many others when I’m putting weights above my head.
  • Chipping another nail, while changing a weight on the bar, and there goes the nail polish, it doesn’t react well with Deep Heat.
  • Up at 5.30am to train, then off to work, then back to training, home by 9pm, (that’s if no rendezvous with drug testers), cook a late dinner – it’s so good going to bed on a full stomach.
  • Lying in bed at night, legs aching, can’t get comfortable no matter what position I change to.
  • “Yes, I really am a weightlifter”; “No, we don’t do bench-press,” and “ha ha yes I do have a big snatch” quietly thinking to myself “if I had a jerk as big as you are, I would be an Olympic Gold medallist”
  • Going to the toilet in front of a complete stranger, who tries to make friendly conversation, while I try to hold my shirt up with one hand, a beaker with the other, and hover above a toilet, on legs which are just about to give out after a heavy training session – and the humiliation of it all.
  • No – can’t make it for Friday night drinks, I have to train; No – can’t go away this long weekend, I have to train. No thanks darling – you can’t surprise me with a romantic surprise holiday, not unless you notify ASDA where we are going first.
  • Latest results are in from the World Championships – oh good, I’m not doing too badly by comparison, and I’m only 20-30kg behind the world champion – on each lift.
  • Set backs: dropping an 85kg bar on my shin; coming down with tonsillitis two days before the 2000 Olympic trials; tearing the cartilage in my shoulder 3 weeks before the 2002 Commonwealth Games; squeezing out a baby in between major competitions…
  • Sacrifices – the same many other athletes make: putting a hold on my career, and the income which went with it; no alcohol for months before a major event; engaging in strict diets to drop up to 7kg in a matter of weeks, giving up all junk food and chocolate; missing out on large chunks of my child’s early development.

Ahhh, life as a female Olympic weightlifter in Australia…

  • Travelling to different countries and experiencing different cultures of countries I may otherwise have never thought of visiting.
  • Meeting lots of different people from all walks of life with many different stories, experiences and lessons to share
  • The feeling of satisfaction and achievement every time I lift a weight I haven’t done before
  • Learning self discipline and time management – attributes which I really value in my job now
  • Hearing my name announced as being selected on the 2000 Olympic Team and then the 2002 and 2006 Commonwealth Games Teams
  • Going for Olympic and Commonwealth Games team uniform fittings and trying to play down the excitement, as if I don’t care
  • Arriving at the Athletes Village, being greeted and cheered by volunteers, marching in an Opening Ceremony, being greeted and cheered by masses of people – and trying to play down the excitement – as if I don’t care
  • Being in a warm up room with banners on the walls displaying Olympic Rings or Commonwealth Games logos, warming up amongst other elite athletes, whom I have read about in magazines
  • Representing my country in front of thousands of people, all cheering for me…for me!
  • Standing on the medal dais at two Commonwealth Games, being presented with medals and seeing the Australian flag raised on my behalf.
  • Seeing the look of pride in the eyes of my family, my partner, and my coach.

As I reflect – every single moment of hard work, pain and sacrifice was all completely worth it! And I wouldn’t hesitate on doing it all again!

Natasha Barker – Sydney 2000 (58kg)