Chapter Thirty-Eight: My last hurrah
Fortunately, and probably for the first time ever in my weightlifting career, I really enjoyed my last competition. I enjoyed the Australian home crowd again. I said in the lead up this meant more to me than Manchester. I wanted to re-live that hometown advantage and atmosphere. I was completely focussed in this competition but I had a bit more fun this time. I was smiling at the crowd and waving in the presentation before the competition started. Instead of avoiding looking at the audience like I usually would (to avoid freaking out), this time I was really looking around, looking for familiar faces and connecting with the audience. Coming from Sydney, Melbourne may not have been my actual home town but most of my family was there, including my in-laws from England. I wanted to make everyone proud and to bring them all along for the ride.
There were quite a few lifters in the 58kg session. Several Commonwealth countries were represented. We had 10 lifters: from India, Canada, RSA, England, PNG, Sri Lanka, Camaroon, Solomon Islands, and of course Jacquie and I from Australia. Spectator wise, it was a full house too, and there was lots of noise and cheering. The crowd really lifted my spirits and excitement.
I did well in the Snatches, successful with all three lifts, opening on 77kg, then taking 79kg and finishing with 80kg, the same weight completed by my Indian competitor, Yumnam Chanu. You could say I was in equal Gold position after the Snatches, but well, it was silver really, due to Chanu having a lighter bodyweight.
Good old India. I was frustrated in Manchester – feeling duped because the Gold medallist there (Sanamancha Chanu) was obviously on something in the past… Although she tested clean at that competition, she returned a positive at a later competition, twice, and was eventually banned for life. I tried to be professional and not to pass judgement or comment publicly but now in Melbourne, here we were again with my Indian opponent ‘playing’ with the weights, doing only what she needed to stay ahead. She had matched every Snatch attempt I took, knowing she had me on her lighter bodyweight. She was so masculine in looks everyone made their own assumptions. It wasn’t fair, but I was not surprised. I knew what I would be up against all along. We just have to accept that as elite sport, and unfortunately this was part of international weightlifting.
Jacquie White was from Melbourne, so it truly was her home crowd. Unfortunately though, she didn’t perform her best in the Snatches, and was only successful with her opening attempt on 77kg, missing 79kg twice. Whilst inside I was relieved to be ahead, I also felt a little bad for Jacquie.
I was completely unaware of what my other opponents were doing at this point, apart from Jacquie and Chanu. I had no idea Rita Kari was in 3rd place with her 78kg snatch. I thought Emily Quarton from Canada was in 3rd when actually she was sitting in 5th behind Jacquie. Unbeknownst to me, Emily had very nearly bombed after missing her 1st and 2nd attempts on 77kg, before getting this weight on her 3rd attempt. Consistent with my usual approach, I wasn’t really paying attention to the other lifters. I was focussing on myself only and was only acutely aware of what Jacquie was doing after I finished as I asked how she’d gone, since she was my team-mate. During my lifting I was focussed only on what I had to do, fully trusting my coaches to select the weights I needed. Doing my job.
Watch highlights of the Snatch competition here.
After the Snatches and during our break before the Clean and Jerk I was in good spirits. I had a sense of de ja vu, feeling the same way I’d felt when I was there a few months earlier during the selection trials. I’d had a good day then as well. I started warming up for the Clean and Jerks feeling physically and mentally good, feeling confident.
Again as I came out for my first Clean and Jerk on 95kg the crowd really lifted me up. Shockingly, Jacquie had just bombed (missed all three attempts) on 94kg so the crowd must have thought I was the last chance for an Aussie to land in the medals. I managed 95kg with some effort but was starting a bit lighter than Chanu who opened on 96kg and Emily who selected 98kg for her 1st attempt. Of course Chanu easily got her attempt on 96kg. Then Emily easily lifted 98kg.
Then it got really exciting. I was now back in 3rd spot so came back out for 98kg on my 2nd attempt, which I was successful with. This moved me back into 2nd position. I had left all the tactics to the Coaches (as usual) and did my job lifting the weights they selected – so far successful with 5 out of 5 lifts.
However, with my last Clean and Jerk lift, being my last ever competition, Luke asked me (a rarity) what weight I wanted for my final lift? I could have elected 99kg. But I really wanted 100kg. Perhaps I was being greedy but I really genuinely believed I could do it, especially having come so close in recent training and with the adrenaline from having the crowd all cheering for me now. I certainly wasn’t scared of that big round 3 digit number, like some people are when they get to that so-called milestone. I had been there before numerous times. Although not since having Brandon.
Chanu also elected 100kg, for her 2nd attempt. Emily, though, had elected to go up to 101 kg for her 2nd attempt. Due to lifting order, Chanu came out first. Again she was playing with her 100kg weight and had no problems lifting it. When my turn came, I was really psyched up for the lift and had the crowd behind me. Unfortunately things didn’t quite go to plan. For whatever reason, I couldn’t get up out of the Clean. I dropped it.
I already knew inside that I had no chance again Chanu, even if I had succeeded with the 100kg, Chanu was already ahead of me due to her lighter bodyweight. But I had thought if I had managed the 100kg this might have secured me silver.
As I was sitting in silver position, Emily came out to take 101kg for her 2nd attempt. She missed it! My heart jumped. By now I had finished and while I was being interviewed in the wings, I was also paying attention to what the others were doing! I thought for a moment I still had a chance for silver. Emily Quarton, who was 14 years younger than me, only needed to equal my Total and would take silver from me due to her lighter bodyweight (by 30 grams).
Unfortunately for me, Emily came back, successful with her last Clean and Jerk on 101kg to surpass me into Silver. And so I finished with the Bronze medal. Of course Chanu then went up to 105kg which again she easily lifted for the Gold, as if anyone ever had any doubt.
I have ‘beaten myself up’ a lot about it since that day. If I had been 30 grams lighter or if I had been successful with 100kg I could have ended up with silver, as it would have meant Emily would have had to attempt more to beat me, and she might have failed. Might. Who knows? I missed the elusive 100kg, although I’m certain I gave it everything I had. Bronze was to be. I realised afterwards, I was lucky to have Bronze. Rita from PNG was right behind me closely in 4th and it was a very close call. If she had taken 100kg on her last lift instead of 99kg, she would have taken the bronze medal from me. It’s possible her coaches called for the wrong weight, miscalculating what she needed to jump ahead of me.
Let’s not forget that when I originally came back to lifting after having Brandon, my goal was just to make the team. Never for a moment did I think at that time that I would end up with another medal. To be honest I was happy with any colour. It’s just that the silver was within my grasp and so close…
Poor Steve missed most of my session. When Brandon saw me come out for the presentation at the start, he started crying and Steve had to take him out in the foyer, taking turns with other family members for most of the competition. Luckily there were TV screens in the foyer so they could watch the competition from there. Although, Steve didn’t really mind, as he always felt sick watching me lift. He was more nervous watching me than I was lifting!
Highlights of my lifts are here
After I finished lifting and as I was being interviewed in the wings as the medals were determined, Steve brought Brandon down to the front to reunite us. As the medal ceremony was yet to take place and I was being called up for drug testing after the medal ceremony (similar to Manchester in 2002) I couldn’t leave the area, so I took Brandon straight back to the warm up area with me, while I got my tracksuit on for the medal ceremony. As we queued back stage for the medal ceremony, and I stood there with Brandon in my arms, Sam Coffa and another official questioned in the wings whether I was allowed to take him up with me on the stage. Not being disrespectful, as I have always liked Sam, but I couldn’t help blurting out with a big grin “who’s going to stop me!” Nobody tried. So I took Brandon up on the stage and podium with me to receive my medals and watch the flags being raised.
Once again I was emotional up there on the podium. It was all over. For good this time. I had my little boy in my arms after 4 weeks away from him. And I had my final medal. I remember looking at the crowd and the Australian flag being raised in third position, my eyes welling up. As we were posing for photos after the anthem, Brandon, who was incredibly well behaved up there in my arms, looked up at me lovingly at that moment. Seeing my glistening eyes & tears, he leaned up and kissed me on the cheek. My special boy, making the moment even more special.
After the medal ceremony there was a media conference. The journalists were firing all their questions at me, covering everything from the drugs scandal, to lifting with a new baby and also my retirement which I had announced. I felt a little embarrassed for the gold and silver medalists sitting there quietly, almost being ignored. Then I had to go for drug testing, which again (just like in Manchester) took ages, while my family all waited outside again. By the time I came outside, everyone except my family had gone. I ended up heading back with them to their hotel for some dinner and to spend some long awaited time with them.
I only stayed at the Games for a few more days, long enough to have a little bit of relaxation in the village, to enjoy some of the entertainment, and to watch a few more of my team-mates lift. I also proudly found my name on the medal walk of fame in the athletes village.
There were quite a few articles about me in the papers for the next couple of days. There were some articles about comments I made welcoming the drug investigation which was taking place due to the occurrences which happened on the eve of the Games, as I looked forward to them clearing us. They also covered my announced retirement, as well as the motherhood aspect. It seemed I may have started a trend as other medalists started taking their kids up on podiums with them. During one interview and photo session down at Southbank, with my medal on, a small crowd of people formed around me afterwards and I was asked for my autograph. What an amazing feeling!
I left before the end of the Games, before the Closing Ceremony. As much as I wanted to stay and enjoy the ‘holiday’, it didn’t feel right for me to stay away from my family any longer. I had other responsibilities now – a small child, plus I had to get back to work. Back to reality.
It had been a great journey, but now it was at an end.
Coming up next – Chapter 39: Epilogue – A final word